Building a healthy, strong relationship with a partner takes a lot of work. Unlike romantic movies, where things are resolved and everything is perfect again, real life is a lot more complex. With the daily grind, pressures of life, and frayed nerves, prioritizing your partner and working on your relationship can often take a back seat. Especially when you’re going through a stressful or difficult period with tackling life’s responsibilities, you’re just too tired to face your stalled relationship.
Here are some simple, proven ways to build stronger, healthier relationships.
Understand Your Partner’s Love Language
Not everyone expresses love in the same way. Each person is different, as is their love language. The five love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, and receiving gifts. It is essential to understand and honor your partner’s love language. For example, if your partner values quality time, then spend time away from the screen and talk about your day. If they value physical touch, make sure to factor in some cuddle time (or even a hug on your way out the door). In a relationship, it’s very important to show your partner you love them in the way your partner values it.
Go To Bed At The Same Time
Did you know that going to bed at different times can take a serious toll on your relationship? Couples who have mismatched sleep patterns have more conflict among themselves, fewer conversations, and less sex, further impacting the relationship. Remember, going to bed at the same time does not mean that you and your partner dive under the covers and scroll through social media. Instead, put your mobile phones away and use that time to cuddle up together.
Don’t Avoid Conflict, But Handle It Respectfully
Sharing space with another person will inevitably lead to disagreements, hurt feelings, and differing opinions. While some couples talk things through calmly, others may raise their voices. For a good relationship, avoiding conflict is not the right approach; instead, you need to feel safe and comfortable expressing yourself without fear of judgment, retaliation, or humiliation.
Be Vulnerable
You can’t always maintain a strong facade, and even the strongest person has their own vulnerabilities. Sometimes, you need to dig deep to be vulnerable, and it can be tough to share it with your partner. But when you become curious about your blind spots, and you’re brave enough to share them, it can create a deeper bond.
A blind spot is a belief or trait you have deep inside of yourself that you don’t even realize you have. For instance, you may discover that your rather controlling attitude on sticking to schedules or nagging is a way of not wanting to be left alone. So when you share this with your partner, it can become the first step towards changing the habit.
Spend Some Time Apart
Every person needs their own space, and quality time outside a relationship is crucial. A lot of people feel trapped and stifled in a relationship because they don’t give themselves some time apart. In fact, marriage counsellors stress the importance of breathing space for one’s personal growth and for maintaining a sense of independence within the relationship. When you take the time to do things you enjoy, whether it’s taking a walk in the park, going to the gym with your friend, or meeting family, you flourish, which makes your relationship healthier.
Moreover, this time apart will ensure that your partner’s irritable habits don’t trigger you as much, and you feel more patient. Plus, as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, so some time apart gives you and your partner the time to miss each other.
Spice Up The Relationship
As the years pass by, boredom can creep into a relationship, so you need to create some novel experiences with moments of fun and impromptu date nights. Surprising your partner doesn’t have to be an extravagant affair; sometimes, it’s the thought and effort behind it all. For example, you can take the time to prepare a home-cooked meal, pick up some flowers when you’re running chores, leave a cute “I Love You” note on the car steering wheel, or book a surprise date. These are all simple acts that can be all it takes to spruce up a relationship after it’s been in a rut for a while. Simple acts like these are enough for a couple to rekindle their love and feel close to one another.
Handle Conflict In A Healthy Way
Fights are a given in any relationship, and disagreements are bound to come up. When expressing your frustration, it’s easy to roll your eyes or yell, but these actions only further destroy a relationship.
Instead, take a different approach: speak gently and politely. Don’t play the blame game or shoot off critical remarks that could escalate the conflict. Be mindful of the words you choose and the tone you use. Try to understand the root cause of the conflict and use repair attempts to diffuse an argument. For example, you can touch our partner’s shoulder or hold their hand. Or you can find common ground and say, “We have different approaches, but you and I really want the same thing.”
Maintain A Strong Emotional Relationship
There is a vast difference between being loved and feeling loved. Most relationships tend to get stuck in peaceful coexistence, with neither partner actually relating to the other on an emotional level. These relationships may appear stable on the surface, but a lack of emotional connection can leave the couple feeling distant from one another.
When you feel loved, you feel valued and accepted because your partner understands you. But if you avoid expressing vulnerabilities and talking about emotions, it can bridge the distance and eventually cause the relationship to grow stale.
Final Thoughts
Every person is unique, and healthy relationships don’t always look the same for everyone. In fact, your needs around the key aspects of a relationship may change throughout your life, and your relationship may fluctuate with the curveballs life throws at you. But remember, it’s essential to understand what’s healthy in a relationship and what’s not. Moreover, building a relationship takes consistent effort, and you must identify ways to do so so that the life you’re sharing with your partner makes you content and fulfilled!
